Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
