I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
