There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
