Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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