you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
