im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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