dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
