Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
