Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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