I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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