we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
