trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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