school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
