I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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