butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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