Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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