he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
