They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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