Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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