Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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