i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
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