Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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