Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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