The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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