I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
