so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
