If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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