There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
