Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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