I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
