I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
