I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
