you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
