And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize