in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We have so much sex to catch up on
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
