Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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