if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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