covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
