As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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