No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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