Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
