Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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