There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
