I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
