11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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