and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
