so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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