Whod you bang
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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