I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
