the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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