Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
