it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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