Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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