You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize