Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
