If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
