Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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