I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
