halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
