her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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