I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
