You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
